People that really know me, know how my life has been somewhat inside-out/upside down for the last few years. It is hard to talk about because as with any individual, unless you have lived in their 'shoes' there is no way to understand the emotions and feelings. Or even grasp the 'whys'. There are just too many layers to even map it out. I couldn't begin to explain it and I am not going to even try.
Over the weekend I was with my family going through some possessions of my in-laws.
There was nothing I took away. Didn't want anything. Didn't matter.
I only took several photographs home to scan and this is one of them.
It is my mother-in-law in her High School senior photograph, circa 1947.
My perspective on her and her life is very different than those around me. It is funny how that works.
In the beginning I resented her interference, as I rightly should have! I was very young and naive...
In the end - all things aside - we grew to be the best of friends. It was an odd occurrence actually when you think about it. We talked every day and did so many things together. She passed away 25 years ago; her husband, just this past May.
I question so much about everything anymore. Things become clear that should have never been cloudy.
It makes you stop and think.
Don't walk in someone else's path. Create your own. Carve an identity.You should always be true to who you really are.
It will come back to you if you do not. It just may take a few years...or even longer.
it sounds like a wise thing to do but most people when they are young don't have the sense or even want to listen. Needless to say that I like the old photo, she was lovely.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad to see you writing like this in a blog and yet not creating a page that would reflect you and your feelings far more. It all seems so wasted here considering just how few seem to read it.
Your feelings of sadness come through - or is it resignation?